Q. Hi, I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I have discussed it in detail with Midwifes at caesarean.org.uk, who told me the facts, the steps involved and after hearing my history, told me that a normal birth might not be very good in my case. She also told me to get the process of discussion and counselling started BEFORE I am pregnant, which I did 9 months ago. Nothing came from it, GP dismissed it, wrote a letter to St Thomas for referral, but nothing came from it. I delayed getting pregnant until I got some feedback or reassurance. Nothing happened. Recently we started to try for a baby, and thankfully I fell quite soon. I am now 5 weeks pregnant, BUT absolutely stressed and terrified that when I see the midwife for the first time, she might dismiss these fears and tell me they will talk about it at 34 weeks or something, in which case I will remain this stressed until that day!!! What do I do if she dismisses it?

A. Firstly, very many congratulations on your pregnancy; this is a very exciting time for you and your partner and it's sad that all this excitement is being eclipsed by your current fears and anxieties. I am also disappointed to hear that having taken very proactive steps to get discussion and counselling started, you have not received any further support or reassurance.

You are not alone: many women feel very anxious about the prospect of giving birth. However, the feelings that you are expressing here are clearly a lot more extreme and I can genuinely sense the fear that you are experiencing. It is good that you have been able to talk through your concerns with the midwives at caesarean.org.uk, but it is equally important that you also talk to your local midwife(s). They should not dismiss your anxieties and will be very sensitive to your fears and concerns, as well as any underlying previous experiences that may have caused you to feel this way about giving birth. However, if you are anxious about this, then I would also strongly suggest that you contact your local maternity unit and ask to speak with one of their Supervisors of Midwives (see contact details below). A main aspect of the Supervisor's role is to support mums-to-be in their choices and preferred care options. You could meet with one of the Supervisor of Midwives in your local maternity unit, or if you'd prefer, they could visit you in your own home to talk through your fears and anxieties with you. Please be assured that the Supervisor will neither dismiss nor disregard your fears, but will listen and take on board what you say in complete confidence. Where there is knowledge and understanding of any underlying factors, the Supervisor will be able to link-up with you, your midwife and doctor to ensure that you are able to make an informed choice and plan early for the birth experience that you desire. This could include ensuring that you receive continuity of care from a midwife that you can get to know and trust during your pregnancy, who will then continue to provide your maternity care until after your baby has been born.

MIDIRS produces a range of Informed Choice leaflets about pregnancy and birth which you might find helpful. For example, there is one on how will your baby be born, as well as a specific leaflet on caesarean section and subsequent births. You can get more information about these from www.choicesforbirth.org

St Thomas' Maternity Services Helpline
Tel: 020 7188 8760
Available: 8.30am - 4.00pm, Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays)
The maternity helpline offers information and support from a registered midwife. The service is available to patients who are booked at St Thomas' and all health care professionals. However, if you need urgent advice and you are unable to get through on the helpline, please call the hospital birth centre on 020 7188 2975 or 020 7188 6867.

I hope this is helpful.

Best regards
Vicky